A dubious illustration of Halo 2 on XBL - Just look at this game:

http://www.bungie.net/Stats/GameStats.aspx?gameID=337665224&player=MechanicalGhost

Things to note:
"NWG PYRO MANIAC" had 31 kills
His partner had ZERO
I (MechanicalGhost) had ZERO
David (ToMifune) had ZERO

NWG PYRO MANIAC had *51* Medals in the course of a 3:00min game
These medals included *31* kills with a sniper/beam rifle.

Why is that noteworthy? Because we were playing on Warlock - and *there is no sniper rifle or beam rifle on the map!*

He also got a Berserk - for killing 20 people in a row without dying.

He also fired 4477 bullets in the course of a 3:00min game. This is impossible. The following game, also a Team Ball match, no one on either team broke *500* bullets fired.

I got off 2 bullets in this match. David got off 1. This is amazing since the Battle Rifle we spawned with fires in *3 shot* volleys. Pulling the trigger = 3 bullets.

So yeah.. this guy was using instant spawn kills via a modded sniper rifle when sniper rifles aren't on the map. Moreover, David and I spawned with a Battle Rifle (when usual spawn weapon is an SMG) that had only 1 bullet in the clip.

What I don't understand is how this is fun for them. All they get out of this is an intangible number next to their name. Woopdeefuckingdoo. Cheating on a game that has no rewards is mindboggling. The reward for playing a game like Halo 2 is *winning* because of your skill. That's it. There's no money, no prizes, not even any real esteem. It's just about the feeling of pulling off a victory. And if you have to cheat to get that victory it's abundantly clear, to everyone, that.. well.. you just suck.

Sometimes things happen that you kind of knew all along, but they are still a surprise when you know for sure. When you hear it your chest tightens and your fists clench, and then when that fades you're merely left feeling refreshed. The muscles relax, your mind clears, and it becomes abundantly clear that everything really is okay. That regardless of how you felt before, in truth, it always was.

One of the best ways to win, is to understand that failure is part of the path. It's a really tough lesson, especially when you've won a lot of battles in the course of the war. That first loss stings. But all that matters in the end is winning that war; that final battle to close it.


On a completely unrelated subject, be in the middle of friendships is a bizarre thing. Because you hear different accounts of the same events, and details that were left out of both versions. And in the end you come away with a more complete picture than either person intended on revealing to you. Which I find completely fascinating.

I've hit a very decisive creative brick wall. The though of re-writing 120 pages of Malaise is just daunting to me, even though all I do is think about how to change it and make it work a lot better. It's funny how you can do something, be extremely proud of it, and then come back to it 2 (3?) years later and think it's lousy. I turned it in to my Rewriting and Revisions screenwriting class and watched it be torn apart, but the thing is it didn't really hurt - because none of the criticisms were things I disagreed with. Or more accurately, didn't think of already. None of the things people pointed out were anything new that didn't bother me when I re-read the script myself. I want to make it better. Expand it. Change things around fairly severely. Many of the characters are flat. A lot of the more interesting events are talked about, not shown. Which is inexcusable. But when I sit down to Final Draft (yes, I've moved on to the "real" screenwriter's word processing application.. no more MS Word.) I can't get it going.

I've got a SONY DSR-PD150 camera booked for tomorrow till Monday. And yet I have nothing of substance to make with it. In fact - I have NOTHING to make with it.

I can't focus. I can't write. I can't move. I'm not against a brick wall, I'm in it.

And to keep this from being entirely a whiney entry, I won't even mention my frustration in romantic affairs and how much I'm tired of being single. And what bothers me more is that it's only been a goddamn month of being single. I don't even want to go to bars anymore. How can I be 22 and already sick of going to bars and meeting girls? I hope it's a phase. I'm almost thinking I'll force myself to just go and see what happens. But I don't know how well that'll work.

Last night I went with Stu to see his friend (and my acquaintace) Jen perform at this 'new local music artist showcase'. It was way north and Stu and I ended up on a bus, which we don't really dig, but there was no other choice. Anyway, Jen was good but the rest of the show and the venue was kinda 'meh'. I kinda felt bad for their equipment problems. This Canadian dude played a song for his dead mother, which was a real bummer. Then Stu, Jen, Ashlee and a bunch of girls I didn't know came back and hung out and drank at my place. Ashlee managed to drop cigarettes and spill ash trays all over my carpet. And Stu spilled coffee. Woo. Amazing how my apartment made it through many more situations where stains and burns seemed a lot more likely. Then 5 girls come to my place and suddenly it turns into a war zone.

Time to buy Oxy Clean (which at one point I referred to as oxycontin. Yeah.. that definitely would take the stain away. Or rather, make me not fucking care about the stains).

Tonight I'm supposed to go be a kiss-ass and see my screenwriting teacher's art exhibit. Cuz I need all the kudos I can get.

I need to write something that isn't a blog entry.

My horoscope is a cunt: Find comfort in the written word -- poetry can express the feelings you can't.


If only I could convince myself to write words. Blehhhhhhhh! (*sound I hope to make when I die*)

Oh, and people who put music on their myspace profile should die. And if you're my friend and have music on your profile, that goes double for you. For shame! You break my heart.

Google has started their own IM software, currently in beta testing. "Google Talk". I downloaded the client but I have no one to try it out with. So you must all download it here:

http://www.google.com/talk/

And then add bjamieson at gmail dot com (but, like, you know - in real emaily way with the @ and the . )

Then we can talk and do stuff and see if "GIM" is going to replace AIM in the near future.

I suspect not though... but I want to try the thing goddammit!

Not entirely accurate.. but fairly accurate. Booooo.

Brendan took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "His need to feel more causative and to have a wide..." Click here to read the rest of the results.