Something amiss
I was seconds, yes, mere seconds, away from getting a fansign across a girl's chest tonight.

Instead it went to another bloke.

Proof the SPF is the best forum on the net:

bjamieson:
God... I really need something more productive to do at 11:30 on a Thursday night.

The_Ugly_One:
Don't ever, ever say that. What could be more productive at 11:30 on a Thursday night than trying to get your name written on the breasts of some girl you've never met?



EPILOGUE: Okay, so... that whole experience, on the forum, had quite a surprise ending. Someone looked up her profile on Yahoo! and, um, guess what?

She was 15. 16 at the most (based on the last update)

Holy shit. Dirty. I feel so dirty. She was teh banned, and the rest of us tried to wash away the shame. But it never completely went away.

Whenever I have one - my daughter's computer is going to have video monitoring as well as key stroke recording software running on it ALL THE TIME. I don't give a damn about "privacy". No way in hell my 15/16yo is going to be posting naked pictures to forums of dirty perverted guys at 1 in the morning!

Oddly enough, though, her age made me feel better about not getting a fansign :)
- posted by Brendan @ 10:27 PM 0 comments

 
"He loved Big Brother."
From http://www.lex18.com/Global/story.asp?S=2989614&nav=EQlpWjof

A George Rogers Clark High School junior arrested Tuesday for making terrorist threats told LEX 18 News Thursday that the "writings" that got him arrested are being taken out of context.

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Poole disputes that he was threatening anyone.

"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention (George Rogers Clark High School), didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing,"
said Poole. "Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."

On Thursday, a judge raised Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.

Poole is being held at the Clark County Detention Center.


Is Kentucky really, you know, trying to be the "Retarded State"? I mean, it pretty much already is (along with everything below Springfield, IL - yeah, I'm talking to you!) "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," ... ? What in the hell? What does that even mean? You can't write *fiction* that has to do with any "function" where anything happens? Jesus Christ..
- posted by Brendan @ 8:19 PM 0 comments

 
Cryptonomicon
I love the internet.

From IMDb's forums:
Re: i've died and gone to hell
by - medleynamp (Sat Feb 12 2005 19:27:55 )
This is for all of you non-pussy getting bitches that don't like my grammer. I was to busy fisting all of your mothers asses when I was typing. Rowla's mothers ass was so gaping, that I got my elbo down that bitches sh*t. Next time you filthy phucks has something else to say, I'll put your mothers on the track to get gangbanged by some huge cocked black mandingo warriors, you non-pussy getting bitches. You'll never see your white trash whore mothers again, you bitches.


So, I'm watching the National Geographic channel right now, and Taboo is on. They're in Africa and they're talking about Rites of Passage. So.. this tribe is talking about how they don't name any of their animals, except for dogs, because dogs are their "companions". They have this really cute dog on, named Patience. And, so, like, how would you repay your cute little dog companion named Patience for all his love and attention? Why, you'd beat him to death with a club so you could pass into Manhood, of course.

"Oh, but that's their culture - you can't interfere in that!"

...

Bullshit.

There are tons of cultural beliefs that no one respects because regardless of their "cultural value" they are clearly out of touch, violent, unnecessary and cruel. If everything was accepted as "their culture", then Oprah Winfrey and Calista Flockhart wouldn't be flying to Africa to watch girls be circumcised, and there wouldn't be *worldwide* calls to ban and criminalize it, regardless of who practices it and how culturally ingrained it is.

Speaking of hippy bullshit... I'm in Culture, Race & Media this semester. It's the lamest class ever conceived and is basically about castrating various media to cater to everyone's little petty insecurity and be as politically correct as possible. Added to that, the class has assignments as lame as 2nd grade open house. Our first "homework" assignment was to use pipecleaners to make "cultural collages". I shit you not. We had to twist and "sculpt" pipecleaners into shapes that represent our "-isms". Genderism, Ageism, Faithism.. and whatnot. I sculpted a question mark, a 21, a white circle, and a male sign. Agnostic, 21 year old white male. Get it? ... Neither do I.
- posted by Brendan @ 2:29 PM 0 comments

 
Etchetera
Wow... Yahoo! turned 10 years old today. That means I've been online, in one way or another, for about 10 years. Jesus Christ...

I remember their original website from 1995. I remember the 14.4 modem I was on too. It had 3 green lights. I was on a Macintosh.. not sure which version it was. But I remember how cool I thought video on a computer was.

Wow... I feel old as fuck right now. Where did the time go?

------------------------------------------------------------

So, the 2004 Academy Awards are over. Qucik recap -

1.) Chris Rock was so not the right guy to host this, but he did a pretty good job in my opinion. It's not that I don't like Chris Rock, it's just that in the stuffiness of the Oscars his style only snuck out a few times before he had to run back to safety. I doub't he'll be asked back, but as it was - he did fine (when he was doing his own bit, and not that lameass schtick with Adam Sandler, which dripped of "Written by the Academy"). The trip to Magic Johnson's theater was hilarious, and sad... I am a film snob, but I appreciate entertainment. White Chicks is neither art, nor entertainment.

Of course, I was watching "Cuts" the other day on UPN for a good 45 seconds and could not fathom why it existed. I also don't know why UPN exists, for that matter.

2.) Sean Penn continues to prove that despite being a good actor, he is a foolish prick who takes himself and the world too fucking seriously. God, what an asshole.

3.) If I were Martin Scorcese, I'd just have to say "Fuck it." to the whole thing and not go to the stupid Oscars anymore. Seriously, the whole thing is so freaking pathetic and so stupid. I mean, the more you understand how the Academy Awards work, the more you realize the really don't mean ANYTHING. It's like, all a huge hoax. The Academy members who vote on the films *do not even need to see the films*. That's right. They don't force the members to see all the nominated films - and often times, the members do not. They simply vote for the movies *they have seen*.

4.) I thought this was Clint Eastwood's second win in a row. But I forgot about the boring bloated "epic" Lord of the Rings trilogy last year which took Best Director/Picture. Bleh. Anyhow, guess I need to see Million Dollar Baby now. Mystic River turned out to be my favorite last year, so that bodes well.
- posted by Brendan @ 4:52 AM 0 comments