A lack of freedom
I had the strangest dream this morning. I dreamt that I was driving along a deserted, foggy, winding road, falling asleep at the wheel - and was desperately trying to keep myself awake. I'd start to nod off, and jerk around trying to focus on the road, meanwhile I'd be swerving around curves and crossing into the other lanes. Everything got really blurry and dark and I could barely make out the lines on the road. Finally everything went dark - but my mind was still active and I knew I was falling asleep. I kept trying to get my eyes to open, but they wouldn't. I decided to try to pull over to the side of the road and hope to feel the curb against the tires and put on my emergency lights. But as I started to pull over I just kept going and going - I couldn't find a curb or the side of the road. The texture never changed. Then I really started to panic and kept trying to get my eyes open and wake up - but I couldn't, because I was, you know, sleeping. I started shaking my head trying to wake up - and finally I did wake up, but when I woke up I was really awake. Not dreaming awake.

Weird...

- posted by Brendan @ 1:35 PM 0 comments

 
Digging my way out
I'm in a rut, and I need to get out of this or I'm going to be stuck here forever.

Things gotta change.

I've said that before.

I guess asking for people to be reliable is too much.

I'm not going home anymore. Except for family, there's nothing left there.

- posted by Brendan @ 6:37 PM 0 comments