In Absence of the Sun
My class schedule this semester is almost entirely composed of night classes - from 6:00pm to 9:00pm. What does this mean? It means that I have become almost completely nocturnal. This past week I have gone to bed between 6am and 9am, and woken up between 5pm and 7pm.

This is not good.

Aside from the obvious schedule problems this will inevitably lead to, I also believe that not seeing the sun for the past 5 days is having psychological effects on me. I've been very gloomy and tired, and depressed, since about Wednesday. Last night I listend to episode 211 of OnR and got very depressed, with the proverbial yearning for days past and all. Then Sarah called me around 3am to talk about how depressing it is being older and missing being young again. Then I watched Haibane Renmei. By 9am I was fundamentally an emotional wreck.

Fucking feelings.

I've been putting a lot of work lately into cementing Kanzen Radio into a good program. I've tweaked a few aspects of the website, and am reviving the voicemail feature. I'm also upping the encoding to higher quality, but also offering a low quality - 56k aimed - option. I have a ton of server space now, which will be being put to use with a lot of new stuff and "extras" in the coming weeks and months. I'm also working on collecting a "best of Stray Radio" episode with our favorite segments and discussions (yes, H-ing).

I was looking back over the websites for OnR and saw how excited we sounded as we counted down from eps 40 to 50, the end of our first season. It really sucks to be setting out at 101 once more, but at the same time I'm excited about getting the same satisfaction once again. I can't wait till Kanzen Radio is at 150.

In related news, Anime Radio - the biggest and most lasting influence on OnR & SR - just wrapped their 6th season. Congratulations to them, and the best of wishes.

- posted by Brendan @ 2:40 AM 0 comments

 
Closed doors.
Had a pretty good final week of summer vacation. I can't really remember what exactly went down the last few days, or the past week anyway, and things have sort of jumbled together.

I spent some time with David last weekend, playing video games and seeing Ghost in the Shell 2 at the Landmark Century theater, which is where I saw The Brown Bunny. We both loved the film. David got a cold and was sick the rest of the night. Originally Pat and Stu were going to come in and see it with us, but by the time I got ahold of them, they had other plans. Oh well.

The day after, Sarah came into town to hang out and spend some time. I took her to see Ghost in the Shell 2 at the Esquire theater - which was not as good a theater as Landmark (they began projecting the moving on the fucking ceiling!) but the film was just as beautiful and Sarah also very much enjoyed it. I was happy because I always wanted to take her to see an anime film in a theater. I missed out on Spirited Away, but Ghost in the Shell 2 was a suitable replacement (and in many ways, I actually prefer it to Spirited Away, anyway). I also showed her a bit of Stand Alone Complex and now she's a fan of Ghost in the Shell (I showed her the second episode with the rampaging tank - because the tachikoma are in it and are funny, but in the end the episode actually had her in tears.. aww..)

I got an email from Alex - yes, that Alex - a few weeks ago. I almost emailed him back. Almost. I had the email written in fact. A sort of wistful, nostalgic, message about times past. But I decided against it. Deep down, I do want to talk to him again. I miss him, I really do. And at times, I also miss my original co-host. Way back when I was beginning Otaku no Radio - it was supposed to be the three of us. The Triad. Brendan, Pat and Alex. The original 3. And in a perfect world - that's what we'd have. It'd be the three of us, and Finiak, doing a radio show. When it comes down to it - that's what the best show would have been. And arguably the best episodes of OnR were indeed the last 2 - that had us all.

I've been thinking a lot about it all. About the choices I made and what has come of it. Was I right? Did I overreact?

Possibly.

I've lost some close friends in the past couple of years. The funny thing is that I still "know" and "hang out" with some of these people - one in particular - but the person I know isn't the friend I had before.

I wish I could have my friends back. I wish people didn't change.. at least, change as much as they do. I tend to sit here, feeling like everything is changing around me and I stay the same. But that's not the truth. The truth is everyone's changed. All of us.

The email from Alex lead me to listen to the old OnR episodes. Not all of them, but some of them. That lead me to Stray Radio.

I missed it. All of it.

But I don't think I could get OnR back. Striking up a friendship with Alex could.. or would... effectively destroy my friendship with Pat. Is that risk worth it? Between all the stories, on all the sides, there lies the truth. And in that truth, no one is innocent. But is that justification?

Kanzen Radio.

It's weird to be starting a radio show - arguably the "same" radio show - for the third time (at least the second time). Simply because it once again becomes an issue of "finding the groove" and getting back into the swing of doing stuff that isn't just amusing to us (which isn't hard) but is amusing to others and will keep your attention for a whole hour (harder).

So, once again - we may start a little rocky, but we'll be back to business as usual very soon.

It's good to be back, and it's good to have you guys back - those who've been with us since Stray, and before that Otaku. And for those who're new - welcome. We hope you enjoy your stay and another wild and crazy ride.

- posted by Brendan @ 5:15 AM 0 comments