Oh nooooess!!!!1111 1tz teh p3n0r!
In the past 24 hours I have seen two penises exposed in my apartment.



Okay - now that I have your attention, lets backtrack.

Finiak came to visit me on Monday. No, scratch that - Finiaks. The Big one, and the Little one.

We played Halo... drank.. played Halo... watched Penn & Teller: Bullshit!... drank some more. Anyway, by the time David arrived, around 11, the two of them were relaitvely.. um, buzzed, and their inhibitions had begun to wear off.

So they tore off their clothes and made hot steamy incestuous butt sex in my apartment!!!!!

Wait, no, that didn't happen... or.. did it? No. It didn't. :(

David arrived in full soccer garb and demanded, no declared, that we all go swimming in the pool at my building so he could cool down and clean up at the same time. I lended Big Finiak my extra swim tunks, and Little Finiak wore a pair of shorts he had with him. David headed into the bathroom to change, and when he returned Little Finiak stood naked in my living room. He looked at me searching for some sort of explanation but alas - I had none. He then screamed and ran away, while Little one scurried to put on his shorts. He then continued to grab himself the duration of the night.

(For those keeping track, that's Penis #1.)

Anyway, the rest of us changed a bit more modestly (High School is teh over - no more free locker room shows...) and headed down to the pool, where we putzed around as usual. I discovered that I can beat Mr. David I'm a Soccer Player and I Work Out 4hrs a Day and Have a Really Buff Body So You All Can Lick My Balls Vadeboncouer in a swimming race. That made me happy :) Then Finiak called me chubby and pinched my waist, that made me sad :(

After an hour or two we got back to my apartment and David attempted to secure shower rights before anyone else - however, Little Finiak cut and got into the bathroom before David could. But luck with still with David, because Little One learned he had no change of clothes nor towel with which to use post-shower. So, he opted to walk out of the bathroom - thinly covered by a too-short T-shirt - in search of something to wear. In that time, David gained control of the bathroom and Little One was left pantless, shortless, and with only the small confines of his tiny t shirt to cover his..

(Penis #1 makes surprise reappearance)

If Little Finiak was buzzed, Big Finiak was stone cold drunk by this point. He took to randomly yelling at inanimate objects and calling strange people on his cell. By the time it was his turn to shower, the bar of soap had become his new drinking buddy.

David, Little and I sat watcing TV with the random noises of Finiak yelling at things in the shower in the background. We were kind of.. worried.. yes, worried.. about him, so we decided to venture in to check and make sure he was alight. I had a camera because I felt it was my journalistic filmmaking duty to do so. Documenting life is a filmmaker's duty..

Finiak didn't seem to pleased that we were so concerned that we checked up on him.

I love you Finiak.

(Penis #2: Final)

So the final tally - Little Finiak flashes twice, on his own accord. While Big Finiak makes scant single appearance, kinda sorta against his will.

I'm such an asshole. But Finiak's a good sport and didn't kill any of us. So in the end, it was all kosher (well, at least the Finiaks are.. *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*)

- posted by Brendan @ 2:49 AM 0 comments

 
For the sake of
1. What is your name? Brendan Jamieson
2. Have you ever been kissed? Yes
3. What is your favorite movie? 2001: A Space Oddysey
4. What CD is constantly in your CD player? CDs.. that's so 1999
5. Do you have any brothers or sisters? No
6. What is on your mousepad? No mouspad - MS optical mouse
7. What is your favorite color pen to write with? Black, I only write in black
8. What shampoo do you use? Aussie
9. What is your favorite color? Black
10. How many children do you want? 2, one boy and one girl
11. Do you collect anything? Not anymore.. used to collect Star Wars figures (original), vintage magic tricks/toys and anime stuff. Not so much now.
12. What is your favorite word? Sophisticated
13. What are your favorite kinds of clothes to wear? Jeans, khakis, polo shirts (leave the collar down!), blazers, vintage T's..
14. What is your idea of a perfect date? Dinner, a good movie, walk along the river/lake, making love
15. What is your favorite book? Whatever Happened to Justice? by Richard Maybury (non-fiction) / 1984, by George Orwell (fiction)
16. Who is your favorite actor or actress? Ewan McGregor, Jude Law, Sean Penn, Monica Bellucci, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Brad Pitt, Steve Buscemi
17. What is the best feeling in the world? Success
18. Do you take hot or cold showers? Hot
19. If you could kiss anyone, who would it be? Monica Bellucci
20. What is your favorite band or singer? Right now.. The Pixies, Atmosphere, Menthol, Outkast
21. What are you listening to right now? Sarah McLachlan - "Fallen"
22. Do you believe in God? I believe in "a" God
23. When is your birthday? March 8th, 1983
24. How tall are you? 5'11"
25. What is your favorite television show? 24, Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, South Park
26. Have you ever had sex? Yes
27. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Switzerland
28. Do you have braces?No
29. Do you like roller coasters? Yes
30. What is your favorite season? Fall
31. What is your favorite time of day? Late night (1am - 4am)
32. What is your favorite gemstone? Diamond, I suppose
33. What is your favorite cartoon/anime? Evangelion, Boogiepop Phantom, Grave of the Fireflies, Patlabor 2, Nausicaa
34. What is on your bedroom walls? Sanyu's "Reclining Nude" print
35. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough
36. If you had a time machine, where would you go? Back to high school years, try to smack some sense into me
37. What do you want to be when you're older? Relatively accomplished filmmaker
38. What color are your eyes? Dark brown
39. Who is the person you talk to the most on the the phone? Sarah - by far
40. If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be? Black
41. Do you have any nicknames? "Bren" or "Brendy" - but mostly only my mom calls me that
42. What does your dream guy/girl look like? Monica Bellucci :P
43. Are you good in math? No way
44. Do you have freckles? A few
45. Who are your best friends? As in the best friend you tell everything and knows you better than any other single person? Only Sarah.
46. What is your favorite kind of flower? WTF?
47. What is your favorite store? have none
48. What is the most daring thing you've ever done? Meh.. it involves a golf course..
49. Is there anyone who you really hate? Yes
50. Do you and your parents fight a lot? No
51. What is your favorite candy? Not a candy fan
52. What is your favorite kind of music? I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and say Rap. But light Rock is a close second.
53. What was the last movie you saw in the theater? Super Size Me (oh, btw, it sucks)
54. Are you getting sick of these questions yet? I'm a masochist
55. Have you ever been to the ocean? Yes
56. Do you have any part of your body pierced? My left ear is pierced, but I never wear earings
57. What is your favorite restaurant? Sakura of Tokyo, or Todai. Luigi's.. um..
58. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Banana Republic, Diesel, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, Prada
59. What is your favorite magazine? GQ
60. Who do you like talking to the most on the internet? Bochan, Michael, Richard, David, Finiak.. uh..
61. What school do you go to/Where do you work? Columbia College - Chicago
62. Do you have any pets? Lola, my hamster. Moose my cat.. I miss moose though.
63. Which is better, pie or cake? Pie
64. Are you a good french kisser? I'm told so.. :)
66. What is your favorite color to wear? Black, Navy
67. What is your favorite animal? Cat
68. What is your favorite alcholic drink? Martini, Vodka Tonic
69. What sports do you like? Basketball
70. What is your favorite outfit? Currently - black Chuck Taylors, faded Express jeans, Penguin Label grey polo shirt, black Banana Republic blazer, grey driving cap
71. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No.. But I did a week ago. Special reasons though.
72. What is your favorite card game? Solataire?
73. Do you swear? Like a bloody fucking sailor! Cunt!
74. Have you ever had surgery? No
75. What is your favorite beverage? Diet Coke
76. Do you want to get married? Eventually.. maybe.
77. What is your most embarrassing moment? Eh, whenever I'm incredibly wrong and only realize it after arguing for an hour..
78. What is your zodiac sign? Piesces
79. Where do you think is the most boring place in the world? Macomb, IL
80. Have you ever smoked? Yes
81. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Intelligence, sweetness, loyalty, looks/style.. good tastes
82. What song do you wish the radio would play more often? I don't listen to the radio, except AM
83. If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be? Thomas Jefferson or Stanley Kubrick
85. Do you like writing letters? Yes
86. Who do people say you look like? Finiak (¬_¬)
87. What is your favorite month of the year? July
88. What kinds of clothes do you like guys/girls to wear? Good looking clothes.. whatever that means for each individual.
89. How many words per minute can you type? No idea
90. What is one thing you would change about the way you act? I'd like to be more outgoing and take more risks
91. What is one thing you would change about your looks? I could lose another 10lbs..
92. What is your favorite perfume? Tommy Girl (on girls). I wear Lagerfled.
93. What is the worst feeling in the world? Regret, loss (and being lost)
94. Do you have allergies? No
95. What are some of your bad habits? Smoking, swearing, judgemental
96. What is one of your pet peeves? Bad tippers
97. Do you have a website? Several..
98. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Focus 2002
99. Where were you born? Aurora, IL
100. Do you believe in love at first sight? More or less
- posted by Brendan @ 2:52 PM 0 comments

 
I shouldn't.. should I?
Back in the day, I used to get quite a kick out of harassing pedophiles and creepy old men on the IRC DALnet network. It wasn't hard. My only rule was that I could never initiate the chat. I'd go online under a stupid nick such as "Mary13" and wait for the scumbags to private message me, usually with lines like "Are you really 13?" or the usual "A/S/L?" From then on, it was open range to fuck with them.

Pathetic, I know. But my excuse was I was 14 with too much time on my hands.

But now I'm 21.. I have no excuse for what follows. Not really, anyway.

I was telling Sarah about these exploits one evening and she got all pumped and wanted to try one. So we went back on IRC, to the old hunting grounds of DALnet and the #teen / #teens chat room. I was Cindy12.. obviously implicating that I was a 12 yo girl named Cindy. Keep in mind, these chat rooms aren't specifically sex oriented. They're supposedly just for teens to hang out and chat in.

Again, we didn't message anyone. We waited to see who would message us.

I was barely 10min before the entire screen was covered in private messages seeking to chat with us (oddly, most of them were from Turkey... ?) We tried chatting with all of them at once, but that didn't work out very well. So soon we settled on one promising chap.

What follows is the edited chat - with the mid section eliminated since it's boring. This chat contains the DCC pics that I sent, and I must stress they are EXPLICIT. This is NOT WORK SAFE and NOT CLASS SAFE. But it is funny as hell. The best lines are in bold - and basically had our jaws on the floor with how dense this guy was. Apparently, my l33t sp34k hax0r skillz were too much for him to handle, so he was intent on believing I was a girl. Heh.. heh.

Once more - this chat session contains pics and images that could get you FIRED or KICKED OUT OF CLASS for downloading on a public computer. DO NOT click this link if that's an issue or you have, shall we say, delicate sensibilities. Goatse makes an appearance, and if you don't know what goatse is... don't click the link ;)

Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way...


#######

Something random.. bolds are my "Yes" Though I suspect this list was actually for girls of the 80's.. *sigh* Why are all the quizes I take usually designed for women?

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air." (In west Philadelphia born and raised..)
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish. haha.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WHOA" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars. oh yeah. it was a banana seat, too!
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a SATURDAY to watch cartoons...
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter Shack, House). all the time!
17. You wore a Jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear light up hig tops!
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. you know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
22. You wanted to be a Goonie!
23. You ever wore flourescent clothing and tie dye too!
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf...
26. You took lunch boxes to school
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide. (<- no, but I owned 2 different versions of them) 38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "totally awesome."
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy." dont worry be happy now, OOOOOO ooo ooo oo oo, oooo oo oo oo ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo dont worry....
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.. or rolled!
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
55. You know what pizza place Yo Noid represents.

- posted by Brendan @ 5:35 AM 0 comments

 
Manifiabulous
Penn & Teller - Bullshit! is the most important televsion show running on American TV.

I've only seen 7 episodes thanks to the might of my DSL connection and BitTorrent, but in those seven episodes they have debunked:
• PETA
• Yoga/Tantric Sex/etc.
• Safety Hysteria (toilet seat covers, terrorism, school shootings, violence in general)
• Drug use
• Talking to the dead, card readings, psychics (John Edward's "Crossing Over", etc.)
• The Bible
• the modern fountain of youth (cosmetics) and plastic surgery

They take jabs at Bush (both), Clinton, Michael Moore, and just about every other public figure, government official, celebrity, and others, that are full of, well, bullshit. And that's why it's the most important show on TV. Because it has the potential to educate so many people on why American life is being screwed up. It's not terrorists, it's not drugs, it's not alcohol and tobacco or random violence. It's that a select few people are being allowed to make decisions on what's morally and ethically right for everyone else, while at the same time allowing things that are blatantly immoral to continue.

The first time I saw John Edward's "Crossing Over" I was impressed too. Not because I thought he was really talking to the dead, but because I wanted to know how he did it. It was a magic trick to me - and that's all it is. A quick perusal of Google would lead you to a great website ran by former magician James Randi - The James Randi Educational Foundation. And it was there I learned about cold reading, which is the method John Edward, and his ilk, use.. in addition to misleading editing.

So, the Psychics episode was nothing new - but it was presented in such a fantastic way. And while honestly none of the messages of the episodes is "new", its the presentation and the data, information, inside that is really worth checking out. It's all researched, and all presented. Of course it's slanted, and they make no statement otherwise.

Watch this show. Or download it if you don't have Showtime (I don't) - better yet, but the first season DVD set (I am). It's the most intelligent TV show out there.

No surprise - Penn & Teller are Libertarian. No wonder they're always right. ;)

- posted by Brendan @ 12:10 AM 0 comments