Funny story. (Background: Chris is Sarah's ex-boyfriend who has been a bit problematic in the past that necessitated me visiting him and having a little discussion a few months ago - but that's another story).

Yesterday while I was out with Sarah we dropped by American Eage to see if Stefin was working, and if so - harass him. When we walked in a girl said hello and asked if we needed anything, Sarah asked if Stefin was working and the girl said No, so we looked around for a second and then left.

Fast forward to tonight. I got a call from Stefin asking what I was doing, if I had plans for tonight - etc. I mentioned to him that Sarah and I had gone looking for him at his work last night to which he replies, "Ohhhh! So it was you!"

"Oh - your co-worker told you we dropped by?"

"Well, she said Sarah came by - she described you as having black hair and a punk look. And I was like 'That's not Brendan.. Oh no - that must be Chris! She's cheating on Brendan... That BITCH!"


Which would have, of course, sucked.

I'm in need of a film to screen at the wonderful end-of-the-season party spectacular. I do believe I ranted about this issue a year ago at this time, either on Iris 2.0 or 1.0 (in the form of livejourney... remember livejourney? What the hell happened to that place?) Last year I did Pulp Fiction and Panic which everyone seemed to like. This year I'm considering Memento, Dr. Strangelove or perhaps To Kill a Mockingbird. But all 3 of those seem too.. safe.. to me. I want to find something more off the beaten path for my last 'movie selection'. I would kill to pull off showing them Irreversible (Karen't already seen it of course.. but..) I'd really love to show Lost in Translation but that's not on video yet (anyone want to offer me a bootleg screener DVD or VHS? :P)

Worst part of commuting to school every day? The time I lose. Consider this, my Monday schedule - I leave for class at 7:30am, get to the city at 8:30 - class is at 9:30. Class is from 9:30 to 10:45, then I can only get an 12:30 train, get home at 1:47.

7:30am to 1:47pm for a class that lasts 1hr 15mins.

See what I mean? The only day my schedule is somewhat compact is on Wednesday when I have 2 classes, but otherwise I end up losing abour 3+ hrs to commuting a day.

Plus there's the blisters. But that's okay. Walking all over downtown is about the only exercise I get anymore.

Where's the tylenol?

Speaking of tylenol - in case anyone is actually following the production of Malaise, here the first production photo (from about.. 3 weeks ago). Originally I was going to do a blog specifically for Malaise, but I decided that anything I wrote there would be too laden with details about the film itself. So that got scrapped. But still, it'll be difficult for me to maintain a personal journal/blog without mentioning something that's become so important. Meh..



Also, there will be a new expanded teaser trailer for Malaise next week.
- posted by Brendan @ 11:49 PM 0 comments

 

Mood: Content
Music: Outkast - Hey Ya


I need to actually purchase the new Outkast CD. I only have that one mp3 for the single, but I want more. And honestly, for my part, mp3 has lead me to buy way more CDs than its lead me to 'steal'. I don't buy many CDs in general, and most of my favorite CDs began as random mp3 downloads. Outkast will join their ranks as soon as the almighty credit card debt is wrangled a bit.. or I get my next paycheck. Whichever comes first.

In other news, a week from saturday I'll be in my apartment.

My apartment.

What the fuck is that?
That's crazy, that's what that is.

Things are coming to an end, and that's scary. My job - my summer work for the past 5 years - will close for the season on the 25th. And when it does, so will my career there. 5 years with the same basic co-workers (though this would have been the last season for most of us anyway), same bosses, same product and (so help me) the same customers. Talk about security. Looking at the place, the rotation of employees - of generations of employees - is kind of sad. My generation ends with my departure. I don't want to go back. But even if I did, I couldn't. I'll be living in a different city. Sure, I fully intend on being home most weekends (family, friends, SR and - of course - Sarah) but it won't be the same. And I certainly won't be commuting to work there. My boss cautiously asked me if my lease was 1/2 year or a full year - which we both knew was really the question, "Will you be back next year?" No. I won't.

And of course, in my traditional form, as much as I hated working there, hated the customers. As much as I threatened to quit every single busy night - I'm going to miss it. Not the "work" perhaps, but the people. Definitely the people.

Sorry, it's the wistful pre-move ramblings. Lately I've been thinking about age and experience a lot. Mostly due to my relationship with Sarah. Sarah and I have basically lived our lives extremely differently up to this point. Sarah's craziness is in her past, and she wants to settle down and gather a sense of stability and security. My past is nothing but calmness, and I'm ready to be crazy. I don't want stability or security. I'll be on my own and half-way through college - my time to cling to security and calm was high school. I did nothing then. Nothing. I have no special high school stories. No fond memories to look back on and think, "Wow.. what a crazy stupid brave kid I was." So now I want to experience *more*, and unfortunately Sarah's already done that. So there's this weird sense of not being able to not do anything new *together*. No new discoveries. Either she's seen it/done it/felt it already - or I have. I'm afraid we can't share anything. I don't know why that bothers me so much. I don't think it should, but it does. Which has lead to some painfully frank conversations that have bordered on break up.

I either feel too young and naive, or too old and conservative.

Either way, it's not good.

No, I don't want to break up with her. Far from it.
I think what it mostly comes down sadness and regret over history. It's that I wish I could change the past. Her's, or mine, I don't know.

But one thing you can't get back is time.

The trick is to not approach that like it's a bad thing, and to accept people as a whole package. Their pasts included.
- posted by Brendan @ 12:46 AM 0 comments

 
A revival of sorts
I... gently alluded to early November as being the official "re-launch" of Digital Iris, and while the 'new' stuff won't be around till then, but lately I've gotten the urge to write here again, and rather than simply wait for November and do everything at once, I'm going to just do stuff like usual and let it all gradually come together, rather than all at once.

There were a bunch of things I wanted to talk about here. From old friends, to drugs, to school - but I'm too damn tired. I messed with the color scheme for the blog, but that's about the only change. I worked over some other templates but none looked as straight forward and clean as this one, so rather than change it simply 'because', I thought I'd stick with what looked best.

Now... I sleep.
- posted by Brendan @ 1:14 AM 0 comments